Because no matter what, your first time is always memorable (even if it wasn’t so hot)
Despite what you see on TV and in movies, having sex for the first time is rarely romantic, pleasant, or sexy. Sure, it can be—in theory. But more often than not, it’s an awkward experience. So we asked Women’s Health’s Facebook followers to open up and share how they lost their virginity. Let’s just say that if your first time didn’t live up to your expectations, you’re definitely not the only one.
“My first time was actually sweet. It was with my boyfriend on our one-year anniversary. I was so nervous during dinner that I didn’t eat anything because I knew we were finally going to do it. I knew he’d had sex with his ex-girlfriend, but it was cute that he waited for me [to be ready]. My anxiety got the best of me, and I freaked out and told him to stop after the first thrust. Plus, I was the first one of my friends to have sex, so no one could tell me what to expect. A week later, we did it for real, and I felt cool for finally doing it.” —Casey S.
“I was way too young and not ready at all. I wasn’t even sure if I truly liked the guy, but I did feel pressured. It happened very quickly and hurt. When I got home, I took a bubble bath and then cried myself to sleep. The next month was agony, even though we had been safe. I didn’t think the risk was worth the action, and it was a while before I did it again.” —Cate B.
“It was with my boyfriend at the time. I was 17. He tried to use two condoms because he didn’t know better, but thankfully I saw him and stopped it. I bled all over the bed and thought it was hopelessly romantic that he helped me do the laundry afterwards.” —Cassandra T.
“My first time was with a guy named James. I didn’t even know his last name. I only did it so I could fit in. It was a bad choice on my end. Your virginity is sacred even if all of your friends are doing it. Wait for the right person. It will be worth it. When you give yourself to someone only because you think it’s cool, it will come back to you two-fold. Have fun, but don’t be stupid. You are worth more.” —Javasia W.
“It was with the love of my life at 17 in my mom’s front yard in a lawn chair! It was rushed, and he cried afterward because he wanted to wait to give me his virginity on our wedding night. But needless to say, after the first time, it never stopped. And we’re still going strong after 14 years of marriage.” —Jessica J.
“My experience is definitely regrettable. I was 20, and I’d made the choice to wait until I’d met the right guy. But over time, it felt like that was never going to happen. I was embarrassed by the fact that I was still a virgin. I started seeing this guy that I worked with. He seemed like a decent guy, and he had been pursuing me for months, but ultimately I wasn’t interested. After one night out, he was driving me home and took a detour to park somewhere. I didn’t think we would end up having sex, but we did, and it only lasted a short minute or so. Worst part was, he didn’t even know it was my first time. We never slept together again after that night. Looking back, I can’t believe I put so much pressure on myself and felt embarrassed by my virginity—20 is still so young. I’m just lucky that I met my wonderful boyfriend less than a year later, and we’re still together today.” —Sam S.
“I lost my virginity with my boyfriend of six months when I was 18. He’d lost his job, and I thought it would soothe his pain. I told him previously I wanted to wait until we married. It was memorable and enjoyable. We were in love, but we [didn’t last].” —Suzi D.
“It was my first boyfriend on my 15th birthday. It lasted a whole 10 seconds—I kid you not. He apologized and then cried for 15 minutes. It was terrible, and I’m not even sure if he broke my hymen.” —Sarah C.
“My first time was with my boyfriend (now husband) when I was 15 and he was 17. It was Christmas Eve, and he had the chicken pox. Luckily for me, I had the chicken pox when I was six.” —Loana S.
“I was 19 and met a guy at a frat party. We made out and exchanged numbers at the party and then arranged to go on a double date with him and his friend and me and my friend the next Friday night. It was then that my friend and I realized that this guy wasn’t in the frat anymore—he was 24 and had graduated two years prior but clearly missed college so much. He had a vanity plate with his college football number, and when we ended up back at his apartment after the movie, we found out he lived with his parents—and his bedroom was covered in beer posters and huge inflatable beer bottles. I was desperate to lose my virginity, so he and I ended up doing it in his parents’ bedroom while my friend banged on the door because she was ready to leave and her date was giving us both a ride home. Overall, it was a ridiculous story that still makes me laugh.” —Jessica H.
“I dated my high school boyfriend for three years and when we decided to ‘go all the way.’ I asked him to make it special for me. On the night of our high school holiday ball (and my dad’s birthday ), he snuck into my home and told me to go upstairs while he set up everything. When I came back down, he had covered the room in little votive candles and was laying naked, except for boxers on the bed. He was very romantic and diligent about taking off every piece of clothing very slowly and sensually, even my only pair of red Victoria Secret’s panties. When it came time to do the actual deed, he made us pause and he turned on ‘I’ll Make Love to You.’ Twenty-five year old me laughs at this, but looking back, I think it was really, really, really sweet. It lasted like five minutes—tops—but I’ll never forget it!” —Jenn L.
“It was a junior year of college and it was the last weekend before Christmas break. I went to a fraternity’s tacky Christmas sweater party. I remember I was sitting on the kitchen counter talking to some of the guys when I saw a really hot guy—who looked like Jude Law—that I did not recognize (which was weird because I knew everyone there). I had done everything but sex a few times—I liked having control and just never got around to it. I wasn’t saving myself or anything like that. I don’t know why, but this time I thought, ‘what the hell,’ and just went with it! It was awesome. He knew exactly what he was doing and put me in all these different positions—we had sex four times that night. It hurt a little at first and there was a tiny bit of blood, but I loved it. He ended up being my hookup buddy for the rest of the year.” —Jessica H.
“Like most 16-year-olds, I thought I was madly in love with my high school boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him on my 17th birthday. We were hooking up on my basement couch in the pitch black. And the romantic that he is, he said, ‘Should we just have sex?’ So then we did. It lasted about 40 seconds. I just felt kind of cheap and like, ‘That’s it?!’ We then went to my birthday party, and I was paranoid about being pregnant because we didn’t use a condom. I remember thinking, ‘Why are people so obsessed with sex?’ because most girls—including me—did not enjoy it on their first time.” —Delila S.
“I was 18, and it was the summer before I went to college. I had been dating my boyfriend since sophomore year of high school, and we finally decided to do it. Because I was so comfortable with him (and it was his first time, too), I remember feeling really comfortable with the whole thing. It was in his basement—and it definitely wasn’t the best sex ever—but we eventually figured it out!” —Alex G.
“I was seeing a guy who went to a neighbouring prep school. He was far from a virgin but knew I was and was super respectful about not doing anything I wasn’t comfortable with. One night we were in his dorm room (no girls were allowed in it, so we were breaking a huge rule), and I was finally ready to go through with it. We were making out, and I just gave him this look without saying anything—but he got the hint. He asked, ‘Are you sure?’ and I nodded. ‘Screaming Infidelities’ by Dashboard Confessional was playing, and the night was perfect in every way. It was a really awesome experience, and it was exactly how I would have wanted it to go down. I honestly felt really happy afterwards and just special. I felt so loved and just so glad it happened with someone who was not only so respectful but also understood that this was such a significant, special experience for me personally—and treated it as such.” —Anastasia B.
“My high school boyfriend was in a band, and I lost my virginity on the floor of his studio while one of his band’s songs was playing in the background. I think it was mostly just quick. I remember thinking it was going to hurt so much because that’s what everyone says, and then it didn’t. We had been dating for a long time and kept dating for a long time afterwards, so the feelings were basically just good ones.” —Tracey D.
“It was with my high school boyfriend during our junior year. Basically, we were just making out in his basement while a movie was playing in the background. He pulled me on top of him, and all of a sudden, I just knew it was going to happen. It was amazing and not awkward at all. Afterwards, I felt like I was floating on cloud nine. I’m very appreciative that my first time was so good because it really helped me see that sex is meaningful and can be very passionate with the right person.” —Amy M.
“I was 17. It was with my high school boyfriend of two years, but we were technically broken up. He was a year older, so he was home on winter break from college. We started hooking up at my house while my family was away, and I just went for it. It was fine—kind of boring knowing what I know now. I was pretty nonchalant about it. My best friend came over afterwards, and I just mentioned it in passing just because it was really a long time coming.” —Katie R.
“I lost my virginity to a really tall guy when I was a high school freshman. His penis was long and thin—kind of weird looking—and we did it on his couch. I remember it hurt to pee afterwards, and it wasn’t that exciting.” —Lizzie P.
“It was with a friend that I had been hooking up with for two years—he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. He was pretty good, but I was so awkward and nervous about everything that it wasn’t great.” —Rebecca G
“I was 17 and visiting family down South when I was introduced to my cousin’s fraternity brother at a bar. His name was Chris: He was beautiful, and we immediately clicked. Even though I was supposed to stay with my family, I ended up sneaking out of their house. He came to get me in his pickup truck, and we went back to his place. The next morning, I woke up to see that I had bled all over his sheets, and I was absolutely mortified. He was totally OK with it, and he took me out for breakfast before dropping me back at my family’s house. I could barely walk for the rest of the time I was there. We kept in touch for a little while, but for the most part, I knew I would probably never see him again—and I was weirdly fine with that. I had never envisioned losing my virginity in some romantic way with my high school sweetheart, so losing it on a whim in this way was kind of the best possible thing for me. I don’t regret it at all.” —Allison F.
“I lost my virginity to my high school boyfriend in his parents’ basement while they were out of the house one night. I was already really nervous, and he was pretty well-endowed, so he had trouble getting it in. Then, when he finally did, his parents came home and yelled downstairs to tell us they were back. At which point we stayed hidden under a blanket, scared for our lives. Thank goodness they didn’t actually walk downstairs.” —Elizabeth K.
“I was so desperate to lose my virginity before college. One night, my friends introduced me to this guy who I knew would be down for a one-night stand. So we flirted and eventually we went home together—I think he knew what I wanted us to do. We couldn’t go back to either of our places, so he parked behind a closed ice cream shop, and we had sex in the back of his car. It wasn’t romantic at all, and it hurt the entire time—I was not turned on enough to orgasm. We hooked up again a few times later until he moved to Florida (without telling me). I don’t regret losing my virginity that way, but I sort of wish I’d waited to do it with a special someone.” —Keisha T.
“I don’t regret my first time. I thought it would hurt, but it didn’t. He put on a Dungeon and Dragons soundtrack (I was a huge nerd back then, and it was one of my favourite CDs at the time), which I really appreciated. Overall, it was fine—he was fun and made me feel comfortable. However, I lost my black Victoria’s Secret underwear and had to go home without them. We stayed together for about two and a half years.” —Hannah V.
“My first time was kind of sloppy. Neither of us knew what we were doing, and I distinctly remember Law & Order playing on TV. I don’t regret it, but I felt a little sad about it because it didn’t feel as great as I thought it would feel. Eventually, the sex got better as we did it more and more.” —Lisa N.